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In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected...
Posted on 7/13/2010 at 5:11 AM - Link
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected to him, an extension of his fingersAn odd complex of emotions was working in BrownWilson's cries of pain, his shouts, had alerted Brown, made him worry about enemy patrolsIt shattered the security of the grove, and reproduced the isolation of their position, the vast empty stretches of the hills around their little woodHe flinched unconsciously every time he heard an unexpected soundBut it was more than fear; he was keyed very high, and every quiver, every painful gesture of Wilson's body traveled intimately through Brown's fingers, through his arms, deep into his mind and heartWithout realizing it, he winced when Wilson wincedIt was as if his brain had been washed clean of all the fatigue poisons of experience, the protecting calluses, the caustic salts, the cankers of memoryHe was at once more vulnerable and less bitterSomething in the limitless darkness of the night, the tenuous protection of the grove, and the self-absorbed suffering of the wounded man beside him had combined to leave him naked, alone, a raw nerve responding to every wind and murmur that filtered into the wood from the bare gloomy hills in the men's gucci wallet blackness about them
"Just take it easy, boy," he whispered
All the lost things, the passions and ambitions of his childhood, the hopes that had curdled and turned to bile, swashed through himWilson's talk of his child loosed an old desire in Brown; for perhaps the first time since he had been married he wished he was a father, and the tenderness he felt for Wilson had little to do with the amused condescension with which he usually considered him; Wilson was not wholly real to him at this momentHe existed in this brief duration of Brown's mood as the body, the flesh, of Brown's longingsHe was Brown's child, but he was also a concretion of all Brown's miseries and disappointmentsFor a few minutes he was more vital to Brown than any other man or woman had ever been
Only it could not lastIt was as if Brown had awakened in the middle of the night, helpless in the energies his mind had released in sleepIn the transit to awareness, to wakefulness, he would be helpless for a time, tumbling in the wake of his dream, separated from all the experience, all the trivia that made his life recognizable and bearably blunted to himselfHe would be uncovered, lost in the plain tiffany replica of darkness, containing within himself not only all of his history and all of the present in the ebbs and pulses of his body, but he would be the common denominator of all men and the animals behind them, waking blindly in the primordial forestsHe was at that moment the man he might have been for good or for bad
But inevitably he climbs out of the sea, grasps in his vision the familiar bedposts, the paler rectangle of the window, smells the flat commonplace odors of his body, and the pit of anxiety and aliveness shrinks to its normal place, is almost forgottenHe begins to brood about his concerns for the coming day
So Brown thought about his wife, remembered her at first with longing and a flood of long-compressed love, and saw her face over his, her breasts nuzzling richly against his neckBut the unfamiliarity, the nakedness of his feeling was leaving himHe heard Goldstein and Ridges talking, felt the moistness of Wilson's forehead, and he was cast again into the worries and problems of the two days aheadSeeing the bedpost, his heart clamped on the memory of his wife like a dog crunching a bone, and he pushed her away, immersed again in bitternessFooling chanel jumbo flap around with anything that wears pants
He began to brood about the difficulties of carrying Wilson backThere was a strong residual fatigue in his body from the first two days of the patrol, and the hills ahead would be demanding, exhausting, now that their relief had returned to the platoonHe had a sharp preview of the next day's marchWith only four of them to bear the litter, they would be working all the time without relief, and after fifteen minutes in the morning they would be cruelly tired, dragging on painfully, having to halt for rest every few minutesWilson weighed two hundred pounds, and when their packs were lashed to the stretcher, it would be easily three hundred poundsSeventy-five pounds to a manThrough experience he knew how exhaustion broke him down, dissolved his will, and muddied his mindHe was the leader of this detail, and it was his duty to get them through, but he felt unsure of himself
The aftermath of all this -- his sympathy for Wilson, the purge he had felt, and then the return of his bitterness -- left him very honest with himself for a few minutesHe knew that he had wanted this detail because he was afraid of going on with the platoon, and chanel white purse he had to succeed hereA noncom ain't worth a goddam when he loses his nerve if he lets himself show it, Brown told himselfBut it was more than thatSomehow he could slide through the months, perhaps the years aheadThey were in combat only a small part of the time really, and even then nothing might happen; his fear might not be noticed, nobody might be hurt because of itIf he did the rest of his work well enough it would be all rightAfter the Motome campaign was over, I was a hell of a lot better than Martinez for drilling and training, he thought
What he realized partially was that he was afraid of breaking up completely, of being inefficient even in garrisonI gotta get ahold of myself or I'll be losing my stripesFor a moment he wanted this; it seemed as if life would be so much easier if he had no worries and no responsibility; he rebelled against the tiresome demands of watching labor details to make sure the job was done wellHe had begun to feel an increasing tension whenever an officer or Croft examined the work his squad had been doing
But he knew that he could never give up his sergeancyI'm one man in ten, he told himself, they picked me 'cause I stood black and white chanel ou
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected...
Posted on 7/13/2010 at 1:05 AM - Link
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected to him, an extension of his fingersAn odd complex of emotions was working in BrownWilson's cries of pain, his shouts, had alerted Brown, made him worry about enemy patrolsIt shattered the security of the grove, and reproduced the isolation of their position, the vast empty stretches of the hills around their little woodHe flinched unconsciously every time he heard an unexpected soundBut it was more than fear; he was keyed very high, and every quiver, every painful gesture of Wilson's body traveled intimately through Brown's fingers, through his arms, deep into his mind and heartWithout realizing it, he winced when Wilson wincedIt was as if his brain had been washed clean of all the fatigue poisons of experience, the protecting calluses, the caustic salts, the cankers of memoryHe was at once more vulnerable and less bitterSomething in the limitless darkness of the night, the tenuous protection of the grove, and the self-absorbed suffering of the wounded man beside him had combined to leave him naked, alone, a raw nerve responding to every wind and murmur that filtered into the wood from the bare gloomy hills in the men's gucci wallet blackness about them
"Just take it easy, boy," he whispered
All the lost things, the passions and ambitions of his childhood, the hopes that had curdled and turned to bile, swashed through himWilson's talk of his child loosed an old desire in Brown; for perhaps the first time since he had been married he wished he was a father, and the tenderness he felt for Wilson had little to do with the amused condescension with which he usually considered him; Wilson was not wholly real to him at this momentHe existed in this brief duration of Brown's mood as the body, the flesh, of Brown's longingsHe was Brown's child, but he was also a concretion of all Brown's miseries and disappointmentsFor a few minutes he was more vital to Brown than any other man or woman had ever been
Only it could not lastIt was as if Brown had awakened in the middle of the night, helpless in the energies his mind had released in sleepIn the transit to awareness, to wakefulness, he would be helpless for a time, tumbling in the wake of his dream, separated from all the experience, all the trivia that made his life recognizable and bearably blunted to himselfHe would be uncovered, lost in the plain tiffany replica of darkness, containing within himself not only all of his history and all of the present in the ebbs and pulses of his body, but he would be the common denominator of all men and the animals behind them, waking blindly in the primordial forestsHe was at that moment the man he might have been for good or for bad
But inevitably he climbs out of the sea, grasps in his vision the familiar bedposts, the paler rectangle of the window, smells the flat commonplace odors of his body, and the pit of anxiety and aliveness shrinks to its normal place, is almost forgottenHe begins to brood about his concerns for the coming day
So Brown thought about his wife, remembered her at first with longing and a flood of long-compressed love, and saw her face over his, her breasts nuzzling richly against his neckBut the unfamiliarity, the nakedness of his feeling was leaving himHe heard Goldstein and Ridges talking, felt the moistness of Wilson's forehead, and he was cast again into the worries and problems of the two days aheadSeeing the bedpost, his heart clamped on the memory of his wife like a dog crunching a bone, and he pushed her away, immersed again in bitternessFooling chanel jumbo flap around with anything that wears pants
He began to brood about the difficulties of carrying Wilson backThere was a strong residual fatigue in his body from the first two days of the patrol, and the hills ahead would be demanding, exhausting, now that their relief had returned to the platoonHe had a sharp preview of the next day's marchWith only four of them to bear the litter, they would be working all the time without relief, and after fifteen minutes in the morning they would be cruelly tired, dragging on painfully, having to halt for rest every few minutesWilson weighed two hundred pounds, and when their packs were lashed to the stretcher, it would be easily three hundred poundsSeventy-five pounds to a manThrough experience he knew how exhaustion broke him down, dissolved his will, and muddied his mindHe was the leader of this detail, and it was his duty to get them through, but he felt unsure of himself
The aftermath of all this -- his sympathy for Wilson, the purge he had felt, and then the return of his bitterness -- left him very honest with himself for a few minutesHe knew that he had wanted this detail because he was afraid of going on with the platoon, and chanel white purse he had to succeed hereA noncom ain't worth a goddam when he loses his nerve if he lets himself show it, Brown told himselfBut it was more than thatSomehow he could slide through the months, perhaps the years aheadThey were in combat only a small part of the time really, and even then nothing might happen; his fear might not be noticed, nobody might be hurt because of itIf he did the rest of his work well enough it would be all rightAfter the Motome campaign was over, I was a hell of a lot better than Martinez for drilling and training, he thought
What he realized partially was that he was afraid of breaking up completely, of being inefficient even in garrisonI gotta get ahold of myself or I'll be losing my stripesFor a moment he wanted this; it seemed as if life would be so much easier if he had no worries and no responsibility; he rebelled against the tiresome demands of watching labor details to make sure the job was done wellHe had begun to feel an increasing tension whenever an officer or Croft examined the work his squad had been doing
But he knew that he could never give up his sergeancyI'm one man in ten, he told himself, they picked me 'cause I stood black and white chanel ou
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected...
Posted on 7/12/2010 at 4:05 PM - Link
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected to him, an extension of his fingersAn odd complex of emotions was working in BrownWilson's cries of pain, his shouts, had alerted Brown, made him worry about enemy patrolsIt shattered the security of the grove, and reproduced the isolation of their position, the vast empty stretches of the hills around their little woodHe flinched unconsciously every time he heard an unexpected soundBut it was more than fear; he was keyed very high, and every quiver, every painful gesture of Wilson's body traveled intimately through Brown's fingers, through his arms, deep into his mind and heartWithout realizing it, he winced when Wilson wincedIt was as if his brain had been washed clean of all the fatigue poisons of experience, the protecting calluses, the caustic salts, the cankers of memoryHe was at once more vulnerable and less bitterSomething in the limitless darkness of the night, the tenuous protection of the grove, and the self-absorbed suffering of the wounded man beside him had combined to leave him naked, alone, a raw nerve responding to every wind and murmur that filtered into the wood from the bare gloomy hills in the men's gucci wallet blackness about them
"Just take it easy, boy," he whispered
All the lost things, the passions and ambitions of his childhood, the hopes that had curdled and turned to bile, swashed through himWilson's talk of his child loosed an old desire in Brown; for perhaps the first time since he had been married he wished he was a father, and the tenderness he felt for Wilson had little to do with the amused condescension with which he usually considered him; Wilson was not wholly real to him at this momentHe existed in this brief duration of Brown's mood as the body, the flesh, of Brown's longingsHe was Brown's child, but he was also a concretion of all Brown's miseries and disappointmentsFor a few minutes he was more vital to Brown than any other man or woman had ever been
Only it could not lastIt was as if Brown had awakened in the middle of the night, helpless in the energies his mind had released in sleepIn the transit to awareness, to wakefulness, he would be helpless for a time, tumbling in the wake of his dream, separated from all the experience, all the trivia that made his life recognizable and bearably blunted to himselfHe would be uncovered, lost in the plain tiffany replica of darkness, containing within himself not only all of his history and all of the present in the ebbs and pulses of his body, but he would be the common denominator of all men and the animals behind them, waking blindly in the primordial forestsHe was at that moment the man he might have been for good or for bad
But inevitably he climbs out of the sea, grasps in his vision the familiar bedposts, the paler rectangle of the window, smells the flat commonplace odors of his body, and the pit of anxiety and aliveness shrinks to its normal place, is almost forgottenHe begins to brood about his concerns for the coming day
So Brown thought about his wife, remembered her at first with longing and a flood of long-compressed love, and saw her face over his, her breasts nuzzling richly against his neckBut the unfamiliarity, the nakedness of his feeling was leaving himHe heard Goldstein and Ridges talking, felt the moistness of Wilson's forehead, and he was cast again into the worries and problems of the two days aheadSeeing the bedpost, his heart clamped on the memory of his wife like a dog crunching a bone, and he pushed her away, immersed again in bitternessFooling chanel jumbo flap around with anything that wears pants
He began to brood about the difficulties of carrying Wilson backThere was a strong residual fatigue in his body from the first two days of the patrol, and the hills ahead would be demanding, exhausting, now that their relief had returned to the platoonHe had a sharp preview of the next day's marchWith only four of them to bear the litter, they would be working all the time without relief, and after fifteen minutes in the morning they would be cruelly tired, dragging on painfully, having to halt for rest every few minutesWilson weighed two hundred pounds, and when their packs were lashed to the stretcher, it would be easily three hundred poundsSeventy-five pounds to a manThrough experience he knew how exhaustion broke him down, dissolved his will, and muddied his mindHe was the leader of this detail, and it was his duty to get them through, but he felt unsure of himself
The aftermath of all this -- his sympathy for Wilson, the purge he had felt, and then the return of his bitterness -- left him very honest with himself for a few minutesHe knew that he had wanted this detail because he was afraid of going on with the platoon, and chanel white purse he had to succeed hereA noncom ain't worth a goddam when he loses his nerve if he lets himself show it, Brown told himselfBut it was more than thatSomehow he could slide through the months, perhaps the years aheadThey were in combat only a small part of the time really, and even then nothing might happen; his fear might not be noticed, nobody might be hurt because of itIf he did the rest of his work well enough it would be all rightAfter the Motome campaign was over, I was a hell of a lot better than Martinez for drilling and training, he thought
What he realized partially was that he was afraid of breaking up completely, of being inefficient even in garrisonI gotta get ahold of myself or I'll be losing my stripesFor a moment he wanted this; it seemed as if life would be so much easier if he had no worries and no responsibility; he rebelled against the tiresome demands of watching labor details to make sure the job was done wellHe had begun to feel an increasing tension whenever an officer or Croft examined the work his squad had been doing
But he knew that he could never give up his sergeancyI'm one man in ten, he told himself, they picked me 'cause I stood black and white chanel ou
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected...
Posted on 7/12/2010 at 10:19 AM - Link
In the darkness, Wilson's face seemed connected to him, an extension of his fingersAn odd complex of emotions was working in BrownWilson's cries of pain, his shouts, had alerted Brown, made him worry about enemy patrolsIt shattered the security of the grove, and reproduced the isolation of their position, the vast empty stretches of the hills around their little woodHe flinched unconsciously every time he heard an unexpected soundBut it was more than fear; he was keyed very high, and every quiver, every painful gesture of Wilson's body traveled intimately through Brown's fingers, through his arms, deep into his mind and heartWithout realizing it, he winced when Wilson wincedIt was as if his brain had been washed clean of all the fatigue poisons of experience, the protecting calluses, the caustic salts, the cankers of memoryHe was at once more vulnerable and less bitterSomething in the limitless darkness of the night, the tenuous protection of the grove, and the self-absorbed suffering of the wounded man beside him had combined to leave him naked, alone, a raw nerve responding to every wind and murmur that filtered into the wood from the bare gloomy hills in the men's gucci wallet blackness about them
"Just take it easy, boy," he whispered
All the lost things, the passions and ambitions of his childhood, the hopes that had curdled and turned to bile, swashed through himWilson's talk of his child loosed an old desire in Brown; for perhaps the first time since he had been married he wished he was a father, and the tenderness he felt for Wilson had little to do with the amused condescension with which he usually considered him; Wilson was not wholly real to him at this momentHe existed in this brief duration of Brown's mood as the body, the flesh, of Brown's longingsHe was Brown's child, but he was also a concretion of all Brown's miseries and disappointmentsFor a few minutes he was more vital to Brown than any other man or woman had ever been
Only it could not lastIt was as if Brown had awakened in the middle of the night, helpless in the energies his mind had released in sleepIn the transit to awareness, to wakefulness, he would be helpless for a time, tumbling in the wake of his dream, separated from all the experience, all the trivia that made his life recognizable and bearably blunted to himselfHe would be uncovered, lost in the plain tiffany replica of darkness, containing within himself not only all of his history and all of the present in the ebbs and pulses of his body, but he would be the common denominator of all men and the animals behind them, waking blindly in the primordial forestsHe was at that moment the man he might have been for good or for bad
But inevitably he climbs out of the sea, grasps in his vision the familiar bedposts, the paler rectangle of the window, smells the flat commonplace odors of his body, and the pit of anxiety and aliveness shrinks to its normal place, is almost forgottenHe begins to brood about his concerns for the coming day
So Brown thought about his wife, remembered her at first with longing and a flood of long-compressed love, and saw her face over his, her breasts nuzzling richly against his neckBut the unfamiliarity, the nakedness of his feeling was leaving himHe heard Goldstein and Ridges talking, felt the moistness of Wilson's forehead, and he was cast again into the worries and problems of the two days aheadSeeing the bedpost, his heart clamped on the memory of his wife like a dog crunching a bone, and he pushed her away, immersed again in bitternessFooling chanel jumbo flap around with anything that wears pants
He began to brood about the difficulties of carrying Wilson backThere was a strong residual fatigue in his body from the first two days of the patrol, and the hills ahead would be demanding, exhausting, now that their relief had returned to the platoonHe had a sharp preview of the next day's marchWith only four of them to bear the litter, they would be working all the time without relief, and after fifteen minutes in the morning they would be cruelly tired, dragging on painfully, having to halt for rest every few minutesWilson weighed two hundred pounds, and when their packs were lashed to the stretcher, it would be easily three hundred poundsSeventy-five pounds to a manThrough experience he knew how exhaustion broke him down, dissolved his will, and muddied his mindHe was the leader of this detail, and it was his duty to get them through, but he felt unsure of himself
The aftermath of all this -- his sympathy for Wilson, the purge he had felt, and then the return of his bitterness -- left him very honest with himself for a few minutesHe knew that he had wanted this detail because he was afraid of going on with the platoon, and chanel white purse he had to succeed hereA noncom ain't worth a goddam when he loses his nerve if he lets himself show it, Brown told himselfBut it was more than thatSomehow he could slide through the months, perhaps the years aheadThey were in combat only a small part of the time really, and even then nothing might happen; his fear might not be noticed, nobody might be hurt because of itIf he did the rest of his work well enough it would be all rightAfter the Motome campaign was over, I was a hell of a lot better than Martinez for drilling and training, he thought
What he realized partially was that he was afraid of breaking up completely, of being inefficient even in garrisonI gotta get ahold of myself or I'll be losing my stripesFor a moment he wanted this; it seemed as if life would be so much easier if he had no worries and no responsibility; he rebelled against the tiresome demands of watching labor details to make sure the job was done wellHe had begun to feel an increasing tension whenever an officer or Croft examined the work his squad had been doing
But he knew that he could never give up his sergeancyI'm one man in ten, he told himself, they picked me 'cause I stood black and white chanel ou
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be...
Posted on 7/12/2010 at 6:07 AM - Link
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be disturbed and flicker tantalizingly about them, goading their flash with a dozen tiny bitesThere were many spiders in the field, and the webs kept trickling across their faces and hands, lashing them forward in a minor frenzyPollen and bits of grass teased their exposed skin
Martinez led the way like an arrow shot across the fieldMost of the time the grass was too tall for him to see, but he directed himself by the sun, never pausing for a momentIt took them only twenty minutes to cross the valley, and then after a short break they trudged over the hills againHere, the tall grass was welcome, for they grasped tufts of it to aid their ascent, and slowed their fall by clutching it on the downslopes of the hillsThe sun continued to beat on them
Their first fear of being observed by enemy troops had ebbed in the physical demands of the march, but a new and subtler terror began to obsess themThe land extended so far, was so completely silent, that they became acutely conscious of its christian dior saddle unexplored weight, its somnolent brooding resistanceThey remembered a rumor that natives had once lived in this portion of the island, and had died decades ago in a plague of scrub typhus, the survivors moving to another islandUntil now they had never thought about the natives except to miss their labor, but in the vast buzzing silence of the sun and the hills the men forced themselves onward in nervous spasms, halting and starting, their limbs quivering with exertionMartinez led them at a cruel pace as if pursuedEven more than the others, he was awed by the thought of the men who had lived on this island and diedIt seemed sacrilegious to him to move through this empty land disturbing the long untrampled earth
Croft experienced it in a different wayThe land was foreign to him, and spawned a deep instinctive excitement at the thought that no one had trod this earth for many yearsHe had always known land well; he knew by heart every rock outcropping on every hill for miles about his father's ranch, and this country, unexplored, appealed to sac kelly hermes him deeplyEach new vista that the summit of a hill might furnish him was gratifyingIt was all his, all terrain which he could patrol with the platoon
And then he remembered Hearn, and shook his headCroft was like a high-spirited horse, unused to the bit, reminded he was no longer free by an occasional harsh pressure on his jawsHe turned around and spoke to Red, who was behind himTell them to snap it up
The order passed through the column, and the men moved forward even more quicklyAs they progressed farther away from the jungle their fear mounted, each hill behind them an added obstacle to their returnThe platoon propelled itself with a nervous dreadThey marched for three hours with only a few halts, lashed by the silence, forcing themselves onward in a tacit accordAt dusk, when they halted for their night's bivouac, the strongest men in the platoon were drained and overtired, and the weaker ones were close to collapseRoth lay on the ground for half an hour without moving, his hands and legs twitching uncontrollablyWyman lay fake fendi spy bag hunched over, retching emptilyThey had continued for the last two hours only through their fear of being left behind; their nerves had charged them temporarily with a spurious energy, and now that they had halted they felt too weak, their fingers were too numb, to undo the buckles on their packs and withdraw their blankets for the night
None of the men talkedGrouped together in a rough circle against the coming night, those who could stomached their rations, drank their water, and spread out their beddingThey had bivouacked in a hollow near the crest of a hill, and before it was dark Hearn and Croft hiked through a small orbit from the bivouac to determine the best place to post a guardThirty yards above the men, at the top of the hill, they looked out at the terrain they would have to cross the next dayFor the first time since they had entered the jungle, they were able to see Mount Anaka againIt was closer than they had ever seen it before, although the peak must have been twenty miles awayBut past the valley beneath them, the chanel white bag yellow hills extended only a short distance before altering into darker tans and browns and the gray-blue of rockIn the evening a haze was spreading over the hills, obscuring the pass to the west of Mount Anaka through which they must travelEven the mountain was growing indistinctIt was colored a deep lavender-blue, its mass dissolving, becoming transparent in the late twilightOnly the ridge-lines remained distinctAbove the peak a few delicate clouds perched tenebrously, their forms lost in mist
Croft put up his field glasses and stared through themThe mountain looked like a rocky coast and the murky sky seemed to be an ocean shattering its foam upon the shoreThe movement of the clouds across the peak seemed like mist sprayThrough the glasses, the image became more and more intense, holding Croft in absorptionThe mountain and the cloud and the sky were purer, more intense, in their gelid silent struggle than any ocean and any shore he had ever seenThe rocks gathered themselves in the darkness, huddled together against the fury of the white chanel watch wat
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be...
Posted on 7/12/2010 at 1:11 AM - Link
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be disturbed and flicker tantalizingly about them, goading their flash with a dozen tiny bitesThere were many spiders in the field, and the webs kept trickling across their faces and hands, lashing them forward in a minor frenzyPollen and bits of grass teased their exposed skin
Martinez led the way like an arrow shot across the fieldMost of the time the grass was too tall for him to see, but he directed himself by the sun, never pausing for a momentIt took them only twenty minutes to cross the valley, and then after a short break they trudged over the hills againHere, the tall grass was welcome, for they grasped tufts of it to aid their ascent, and slowed their fall by clutching it on the downslopes of the hillsThe sun continued to beat on them
Their first fear of being observed by enemy troops had ebbed in the physical demands of the march, but a new and subtler terror began to obsess themThe land extended so far, was so completely silent, that they became acutely conscious of its christian dior saddle unexplored weight, its somnolent brooding resistanceThey remembered a rumor that natives had once lived in this portion of the island, and had died decades ago in a plague of scrub typhus, the survivors moving to another islandUntil now they had never thought about the natives except to miss their labor, but in the vast buzzing silence of the sun and the hills the men forced themselves onward in nervous spasms, halting and starting, their limbs quivering with exertionMartinez led them at a cruel pace as if pursuedEven more than the others, he was awed by the thought of the men who had lived on this island and diedIt seemed sacrilegious to him to move through this empty land disturbing the long untrampled earth
Croft experienced it in a different wayThe land was foreign to him, and spawned a deep instinctive excitement at the thought that no one had trod this earth for many yearsHe had always known land well; he knew by heart every rock outcropping on every hill for miles about his father's ranch, and this country, unexplored, appealed to sac kelly hermes him deeplyEach new vista that the summit of a hill might furnish him was gratifyingIt was all his, all terrain which he could patrol with the platoon
And then he remembered Hearn, and shook his headCroft was like a high-spirited horse, unused to the bit, reminded he was no longer free by an occasional harsh pressure on his jawsHe turned around and spoke to Red, who was behind himTell them to snap it up
The order passed through the column, and the men moved forward even more quicklyAs they progressed farther away from the jungle their fear mounted, each hill behind them an added obstacle to their returnThe platoon propelled itself with a nervous dreadThey marched for three hours with only a few halts, lashed by the silence, forcing themselves onward in a tacit accordAt dusk, when they halted for their night's bivouac, the strongest men in the platoon were drained and overtired, and the weaker ones were close to collapseRoth lay on the ground for half an hour without moving, his hands and legs twitching uncontrollablyWyman lay fake fendi spy bag hunched over, retching emptilyThey had continued for the last two hours only through their fear of being left behind; their nerves had charged them temporarily with a spurious energy, and now that they had halted they felt too weak, their fingers were too numb, to undo the buckles on their packs and withdraw their blankets for the night
None of the men talkedGrouped together in a rough circle against the coming night, those who could stomached their rations, drank their water, and spread out their beddingThey had bivouacked in a hollow near the crest of a hill, and before it was dark Hearn and Croft hiked through a small orbit from the bivouac to determine the best place to post a guardThirty yards above the men, at the top of the hill, they looked out at the terrain they would have to cross the next dayFor the first time since they had entered the jungle, they were able to see Mount Anaka againIt was closer than they had ever seen it before, although the peak must have been twenty miles awayBut past the valley beneath them, the chanel white bag yellow hills extended only a short distance before altering into darker tans and browns and the gray-blue of rockIn the evening a haze was spreading over the hills, obscuring the pass to the west of Mount Anaka through which they must travelEven the mountain was growing indistinctIt was colored a deep lavender-blue, its mass dissolving, becoming transparent in the late twilightOnly the ridge-lines remained distinctAbove the peak a few delicate clouds perched tenebrously, their forms lost in mist
Croft put up his field glasses and stared through themThe mountain looked like a rocky coast and the murky sky seemed to be an ocean shattering its foam upon the shoreThe movement of the clouds across the peak seemed like mist sprayThrough the glasses, the image became more and more intense, holding Croft in absorptionThe mountain and the cloud and the sky were purer, more intense, in their gelid silent struggle than any ocean and any shore he had ever seenThe rocks gathered themselves in the darkness, huddled together against the fury of the white chanel watch wat
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be...
Posted on 7/11/2010 at 3:24 PM - Link
Every now and then a cloud of gnats would be disturbed and flicker tantalizingly about them, goading their flash with a dozen tiny bitesThere were many spiders in the field, and the webs kept trickling across their faces and hands, lashing them forward in a minor frenzyPollen and bits of grass teased their exposed skin
Martinez led the way like an arrow shot across the fieldMost of the time the grass was too tall for him to see, but he directed himself by the sun, never pausing for a momentIt took them only twenty minutes to cross the valley, and then after a short break they trudged over the hills againHere, the tall grass was welcome, for they grasped tufts of it to aid their ascent, and slowed their fall by clutching it on the downslopes of the hillsThe sun continued to beat on them
Their first fear of being observed by enemy troops had ebbed in the physical demands of the march, but a new and subtler terror began to obsess themThe land extended so far, was so completely silent, that they became acutely conscious of its christian dior saddle unexplored weight, its somnolent brooding resistanceThey remembered a rumor that natives had once lived in this portion of the island, and had died decades ago in a plague of scrub typhus, the survivors moving to another islandUntil now they had never thought about the natives except to miss their labor, but in the vast buzzing silence of the sun and the hills the men forced themselves onward in nervous spasms, halting and starting, their limbs quivering with exertionMartinez led them at a cruel pace as if pursuedEven more than the others, he was awed by the thought of the men who had lived on this island and diedIt seemed sacrilegious to him to move through this empty land disturbing the long untrampled earth
Croft experienced it in a different wayThe land was foreign to him, and spawned a deep instinctive excitement at the thought that no one had trod this earth for many yearsHe had always known land well; he knew by heart every rock outcropping on every hill for miles about his father's ranch, and this country, unexplored, appealed to sac kelly hermes him deeplyEach new vista that the summit of a hill might furnish him was gratifyingIt was all his, all terrain which he could patrol with the platoon
And then he remembered Hearn, and shook his headCroft was like a high-spirited horse, unused to the bit, reminded he was no longer free by an occasional harsh pressure on his jawsHe turned around and spoke to Red, who was behind himTell them to snap it up
The order passed through the column, and the men moved forward even more quicklyAs they progressed farther away from the jungle their fear mounted, each hill behind them an added obstacle to their returnThe platoon propelled itself with a nervous dreadThey marched for three hours with only a few halts, lashed by the silence, forcing themselves onward in a tacit accordAt dusk, when they halted for their night's bivouac, the strongest men in the platoon were drained and overtired, and the weaker ones were close to collapseRoth lay on the ground for half an hour without moving, his hands and legs twitching uncontrollablyWyman lay fake fendi spy bag hunched over, retching emptilyThey had continued for the last two hours only through their fear of being left behind; their nerves had charged them temporarily with a spurious energy, and now that they had halted they felt too weak, their fingers were too numb, to undo the buckles on their packs and withdraw their blankets for the night
None of the men talkedGrouped together in a rough circle against the coming night, those who could stomached their rations, drank their water, and spread out their beddingThey had bivouacked in a hollow near the crest of a hill, and before it was dark Hearn and Croft hiked through a small orbit from the bivouac to determine the best place to post a guardThirty yards above the men, at the top of the hill, they looked out at the terrain they would have to cross the next dayFor the first time since they had entered the jungle, they were able to see Mount Anaka againIt was closer than they had ever seen it before, although the peak must have been twenty miles awayBut past the valley beneath them, the chanel white bag yellow hills extended only a short distance before altering into darker tans and browns and the gray-blue of rockIn the evening a haze was spreading over the hills, obscuring the pass to the west of Mount Anaka through which they must travelEven the mountain was growing indistinctIt was colored a deep lavender-blue, its mass dissolving, becoming transparent in the late twilightOnly the ridge-lines remained distinctAbove the peak a few delicate clouds perched tenebrously, their forms lost in mist
Croft put up his field glasses and stared through themThe mountain looked like a rocky coast and the murky sky seemed to be an ocean shattering its foam upon the shoreThe movement of the clouds across the peak seemed like mist sprayThrough the glasses, the image became more and more intense, holding Croft in absorptionThe mountain and the cloud and the sky were purer, more intense, in their gelid silent struggle than any ocean and any shore he had ever seenThe rocks gathered themselves in the darkness, huddled together against the fury of the white chanel watch wat
If they put Conn on the rack, he'd die swearing...
Posted on 7/11/2010 at 5:38 AM - Link
If they put Conn on the rack, he'd die swearing he knew him, believing he knew him
"I'll tell you what, when you see Bill Hearn again, you tell him you saw me, or write to him, tell him that
What had gone on in Conn's head for twenty years in the Army? Or particularly the last five when he had discovered he could swim as an officer?
Pop! went Dalleson's carbineWhy don't you look him up? He'll be glad to see youI'd kinda like to see him againThey don't make them more sociable than your father With a delicious effort Hearn restrained himself from saying, Maybe he can give you a job at the gate, keeping people out
Instead he stood up"I'm going in for a dip," he old omega watches announcedHe sprinted down the beach, hit the water flatly, and coasted under, feeling his mirth, his disgust, his weariness wash away in the delight of cold water against his heated fleshWhen he came up he spouted some water gleefully, and began to swimOn the beach the officers were still sunning themselves, playing bridge or talkingTwo of them were throwing a ball back and forthThe jungle looked almost pretty from the water
Some artillery boomed very faintly over the horizonHearn ducked under again, came up slowlyThe General had said once, savoring the epigram, "Corruption is the cement that keeps the Army from breaking apart Conn? Cummings hadn't applied it that way, but Conn was ladies omega watches still a product
All right and so was heWhat was corruption but knowing virtue and eschewing it? All very neatAnd where did General Cummings fit in? That was a bigger question, that was one which couldn't be tied up in a packageIn any case he was going to stay away from the GeneralCummings had left him alone, and he would return the complimentHe stood up in shallow water, and shook his head to clear his earsIt was good swimming, damn goodHe did a somersault underwater and then struck out with a steady stroke parallel to the shoreConn was probably still beating his gums, still elaborating the myth that had become the man
"Wakara, what does umareru mean?" Dove mulberry vintage asked
Lieutenant Wakara extended his slim legs, and wiggled his toes thoughtfully"Why, it means, 'to be born,' I think
Dove squinted along the beach, and watched Hearn swimming for a moment"Oh, sure, umareru -- to be bornUmashi masu, u umashoThose are the basic verb forms, aren't they? I remember that He turned to Conn and said, "I don't know what I'd do without WakaraIt takes a Jap to figure out the damn language And he clapped Wakara on the back, and added, "Hey, Tom, am I right?"
Wakara nodded slowlyHe was a short thin man with a quiet sensitive face, rather dull eyes, and a thin neat mustache"Good old Wakara," Dove saidWakara continued to look at his legsAbout a week before, he roxanne mulberry had overheard Dove saying to some officer, "You know our Jap translators are overratedI do all the work in our unit, of course I'm in charge, but Wakara isn't much help at allI'm always having to correct his translations
Now Dove was massaging his bony chest with a towel he had brought along"Feels wonderful to get a sweat up in the sun," he muttered, and then turned to Wakara again"I should have known that word, you know it's that diary we picked off that Jap major's corpse, fascinating document, did you have a look at it?"
"Not yet
"Oh, well, it's wonderfulNo military information, but the guy was a crackpotThe Japs are weird, Wakara
"They're dopes," Wakara said mulberry leather bag shor
If they put Conn on the rack, he'd die swearing...
Posted on 7/10/2010 at 2:59 PM - Link
If they put Conn on the rack, he'd die swearing he knew him, believing he knew him
"I'll tell you what, when you see Bill Hearn again, you tell him you saw me, or write to him, tell him that
What had gone on in Conn's head for twenty years in the Army? Or particularly the last five when he had discovered he could swim as an officer?
Pop! went Dalleson's carbineWhy don't you look him up? He'll be glad to see youI'd kinda like to see him againThey don't make them more sociable than your father With a delicious effort Hearn restrained himself from saying, Maybe he can give you a job at the gate, keeping people out
Instead he stood up"I'm going in for a dip," he old omega watches announcedHe sprinted down the beach, hit the water flatly, and coasted under, feeling his mirth, his disgust, his weariness wash away in the delight of cold water against his heated fleshWhen he came up he spouted some water gleefully, and began to swimOn the beach the officers were still sunning themselves, playing bridge or talkingTwo of them were throwing a ball back and forthThe jungle looked almost pretty from the water
Some artillery boomed very faintly over the horizonHearn ducked under again, came up slowlyThe General had said once, savoring the epigram, "Corruption is the cement that keeps the Army from breaking apart Conn? Cummings hadn't applied it that way, but Conn was ladies omega watches still a product
All right and so was heWhat was corruption but knowing virtue and eschewing it? All very neatAnd where did General Cummings fit in? That was a bigger question, that was one which couldn't be tied up in a packageIn any case he was going to stay away from the GeneralCummings had left him alone, and he would return the complimentHe stood up in shallow water, and shook his head to clear his earsIt was good swimming, damn goodHe did a somersault underwater and then struck out with a steady stroke parallel to the shoreConn was probably still beating his gums, still elaborating the myth that had become the man
"Wakara, what does umareru mean?" Dove mulberry vintage asked
Lieutenant Wakara extended his slim legs, and wiggled his toes thoughtfully"Why, it means, 'to be born,' I think
Dove squinted along the beach, and watched Hearn swimming for a moment"Oh, sure, umareru -- to be bornUmashi masu, u umashoThose are the basic verb forms, aren't they? I remember that He turned to Conn and said, "I don't know what I'd do without WakaraIt takes a Jap to figure out the damn language And he clapped Wakara on the back, and added, "Hey, Tom, am I right?"
Wakara nodded slowlyHe was a short thin man with a quiet sensitive face, rather dull eyes, and a thin neat mustache"Good old Wakara," Dove saidWakara continued to look at his legsAbout a week before, he roxanne mulberry had overheard Dove saying to some officer, "You know our Jap translators are overratedI do all the work in our unit, of course I'm in charge, but Wakara isn't much help at allI'm always having to correct his translations
Now Dove was massaging his bony chest with a towel he had brought along"Feels wonderful to get a sweat up in the sun," he muttered, and then turned to Wakara again"I should have known that word, you know it's that diary we picked off that Jap major's corpse, fascinating document, did you have a look at it?"
"Not yet
"Oh, well, it's wonderfulNo military information, but the guy was a crackpotThe Japs are weird, Wakara
"They're dopes," Wakara said mulberry leather bag shor
Screaming and bleeding
"What other choice covers...
Posted on 7/9/2010 at 2:59 PM - Link
Screaming and bleeding
"What other choice covers it for me," Wireman said
"I want to know what happened after the search was
overJust before she died, Miss Eastlake said
something about drowning her back to sleepDid
868
she mean Perse? And if she did, how does a thing
like that work?"
I shook my head
"Why don't you know?"
"Because the rest of the answers are on the south
end of the island," I said"At whatever's left of
the original Heron's RoostAnd I think that's
where Perse is, too
"All right, then," second hand chanel Wireman said"Unless we're
prepared to vacate Duma posthaste, it seems to me
that we ought to go there
"Based on what happened to Tom, we don't even have
that choice," I said"I sold a lot of paintings,
and the guys at the Scoto won't hold them
forever
"Buy them back," Jack suggestedNot that I hadn't
already thought of that myself
Wireman shook his head"Plenty of the owners
won't want to sell, not even at twice the price
And a story like this wouldn't convince them
To this, no one said anything
"But she's not louis vuitton white speedy quite as strong in daylight," I
said"I'd suggest nine o'clock
869
"Fine by me," Jack said, and stood up"I'll be
here at quarter ofRight now I'm going back
across the bridge to SarasotaThat
started an idea knocking around in my head
"You're welcome to stay here," Wireman said
"After this conversation?" Jack raised his
eyebrows"With all due respect, dude, no wayBut
I'll be here tomorrow
"Long pants and boots are the order of the day,"
Wireman said"It'll be overgrown down there, and
there could be snakes He omega deville watch scrubbed a hand up the
side of his face"Looks like I might be missing
tomorrow's viewing at Abbot-WexlerMiss
Eastlake's relatives will have to bare their teeth
at each other
Jack had started for the door
"You don't happen to have any of Edgar's art, do
you?"
"MmmConfession's good for the soul,
companero
"One sketch," Jack saidHe shuffled his feet, and
I thought he was blushingOn the
back of an envelopeI
870
fished it out of the trash basket one day
"S'okay, but burn it," I said"Maybe I'll be able
to give black chanel quilted bag you another one when all this is over If
it ever is, I thought but didn't addYou want a ride back to Big
Pink?"
"I'll stay here with Wireman," I said, "but I do
want to go back to Big Pink first
"Don't tell me," Jack said"Jammies and a
toothbrush"Picnic basket and those silver har-
"
The telephone rang, and we all looked at each
otherI think I knew right away that it was bad
news; I felt that sinking as my stomach turned
into an elevatorI looked at
Wireman, but Wireman just looked at me"Brace chanel white watches yourself,
Edgar
Shoot, Ah was jus' lookin' for a little souvenir,...
Posted on 7/7/2010 at 2:46 PM - Link
Shoot, Ah was jus' lookin' for a little souvenir, you men understan' that, they wa'n' no harm doneYou can do the same to mah buddies, Ah don' give a damnA man's dead, he's dead, don' do him no harmThey were swishing the grass only five yards awayHe thought for an instant of making a rush for his gun, but he had forgotten in which direction he had crawledAlready the grass had straightened, leaving no swathHe tensed his body, squeezed his nose against the earthHis wound was throbbing again, and beneath his eyelids a suite of concentric circles, colored blue and gold and red, bored into his mindIf Ah jus' get out of this
The Japanese had sat down, were talkingOnce, one of gucci backpacks them lay back in the grass, and the rustle traveled to his earsHe tried to swallow, but something gagged in his throat; he was afraid of retching and lay with his mouth open, spittle dribbling over his lipHe could smell himself, the sharp bite of his fear and the sour flat odor of the blood like stale milkHis mind carried him for an instant back to the room where his child, May, had been bornHe smelled her baby scent, of milk and powder and urine, which blended back into his own stenchHe was afraid the Japs would smell him
"Yuki masu," one of them said
He could hear them stand up, laugh a little again, and then walk awayHis ears were ringing, his head had begun to throbHe chanel quilted handbag gritted his fists, forced his face against the ground once more to stifle his blubberingAll of his body felt weaker, more spent, than he had ever known itEven his mouth trembledHe was growing faint, and he tried to rouse himself, but it was hopeless
Wilson didn't awake for half an hourHe came to slowly, floating back to consciousness uncertainly, his mind quite dullFor a long time he lay still, his hand under his belly to catch the trickling of the bloodWhere the hell is ever'body? he wonderedHe had realized for the first time that he was completely aloneJus' take off an' leave a manHe remembered the Japs who had been talking a few feet from him, but he could no longer hear chanel handbag 2.55 themA residue of his fear returnedFor a few minutes he remained motionless again, not believing that the Japanese had departed
He wondered where the platoon had gone, and was bitter because they had deserted himAh been a damn good buddy to a lot of them men, and they jus' took off an' lef meIt's a hell of a way to doIf it been one of them, I damn sure woulda stuck with himHe sighed, and shook his headThe injustice seemed remote, a little abstract
Wilson yawped onto the grassThe odor was faintly unpleasant, and he drew his head away, and crawled off a few feetHis bitterness, abruptly, became acuteAh done so damn much for them men, an' they never did 'preciate itThat time big chanel Ah got the liquor for 'em, ol' Red thought Ah was cheatin' himWhat the hell kind of way was that not to trust a buddy? Thinkin' Ah cheated himAn' then when Ah jus' shot that little ol' bush away, an' Croft grabbed me like thatHe's jus' a itty-bitty fellow, Ah coulda broken him in half if he didn't take me by surpriseBut that was a hell of a way to act jus' 'cause Ah was pissin' around a littleHis thoughts ambled along, drawing a righteous contentment from all the times the men had misunderstood himAh give Gol'stein a drink, or at least Ah wanted to but he was so damn chickenshit about it, he wouldn't even take itAnd then Gallagher callin' me a dumb cracker, and po' white women's tank watch replica tra
Shoot, Ah was jus' lookin' for a little souvenir,...
Posted on 7/7/2010 at 10:19 AM - Link
Shoot, Ah was jus' lookin' for a little souvenir, you men understan' that, they wa'n' no harm doneYou can do the same to mah buddies, Ah don' give a damnA man's dead, he's dead, don' do him no harmThey were swishing the grass only five yards awayHe thought for an instant of making a rush for his gun, but he had forgotten in which direction he had crawledAlready the grass had straightened, leaving no swathHe tensed his body, squeezed his nose against the earthHis wound was throbbing again, and beneath his eyelids a suite of concentric circles, colored blue and gold and red, bored into his mindIf Ah jus' get out of this
The Japanese had sat down, were talkingOnce, one of gucci backpacks them lay back in the grass, and the rustle traveled to his earsHe tried to swallow, but something gagged in his throat; he was afraid of retching and lay with his mouth open, spittle dribbling over his lipHe could smell himself, the sharp bite of his fear and the sour flat odor of the blood like stale milkHis mind carried him for an instant back to the room where his child, May, had been bornHe smelled her baby scent, of milk and powder and urine, which blended back into his own stenchHe was afraid the Japs would smell him
"Yuki masu," one of them said
He could hear them stand up, laugh a little again, and then walk awayHis ears were ringing, his head had begun to throbHe chanel quilted handbag gritted his fists, forced his face against the ground once more to stifle his blubberingAll of his body felt weaker, more spent, than he had ever known itEven his mouth trembledHe was growing faint, and he tried to rouse himself, but it was hopeless
Wilson didn't awake for half an hourHe came to slowly, floating back to consciousness uncertainly, his mind quite dullFor a long time he lay still, his hand under his belly to catch the trickling of the bloodWhere the hell is ever'body? he wonderedHe had realized for the first time that he was completely aloneJus' take off an' leave a manHe remembered the Japs who had been talking a few feet from him, but he could no longer hear chanel handbag 2.55 themA residue of his fear returnedFor a few minutes he remained motionless again, not believing that the Japanese had departed
He wondered where the platoon had gone, and was bitter because they had deserted himAh been a damn good buddy to a lot of them men, and they jus' took off an' lef meIt's a hell of a way to doIf it been one of them, I damn sure woulda stuck with himHe sighed, and shook his headThe injustice seemed remote, a little abstract
Wilson yawped onto the grassThe odor was faintly unpleasant, and he drew his head away, and crawled off a few feetHis bitterness, abruptly, became acuteAh done so damn much for them men, an' they never did 'preciate itThat time big chanel Ah got the liquor for 'em, ol' Red thought Ah was cheatin' himWhat the hell kind of way was that not to trust a buddy? Thinkin' Ah cheated himAn' then when Ah jus' shot that little ol' bush away, an' Croft grabbed me like thatHe's jus' a itty-bitty fellow, Ah coulda broken him in half if he didn't take me by surpriseBut that was a hell of a way to act jus' 'cause Ah was pissin' around a littleHis thoughts ambled along, drawing a righteous contentment from all the times the men had misunderstood himAh give Gol'stein a drink, or at least Ah wanted to but he was so damn chickenshit about it, he wouldn't even take itAnd then Gallagher callin' me a dumb cracker, and po' white women's tank watch replica tra
"I didn't know you knew him," Hearn said...
Posted on 7/6/2010 at 2:52 PM - Link
"I didn't know you knew him," Hearn said quietly
"I'm familiar with the typeNow the other question while Hearn was unready for it"Have you ever wondered, Robert, why we're fighting this war?"
"Do you want a serious answer, sir?"
"Yes
Hearn kneaded his thighs with his large hands"I don't know, I'm not sureWith all the contradictions, I suppose there's an objective right on our sideOver here, as far as I'm concerned, it's the imperialism tossupEither we louse up Asia or Japan doesAnd I imagine our methods will be a little less drastic
"Is that your contribution?"
"I don't chanel shopping bag pretend to read history in advanceI'll be able to give you the real answer in a century probably"I'm surprised that you want my opinion, General His eyes had become lazy again, studiedly indifferent
"It seems to me, Robert, you can do a little better than that
"All right, I canThere's an osmosis in war, call it what you will, but the victors always tend to assume thethe, eh, trappings of the lowerWe might easily go Fascist after we win, and then the answer's really a problem He puffed at his cigarette"I don't go in for the long viewsFor want of a better idea I just assume it's a bad buy chanel bags thing when millions of people are killed because one joker has to get some things out of his system
"Not that you really care, RobertBut until you show me some other idea to replace it, I'll hold to this one
Cummings grinned at himHis anger had subsided to a cold effective resolveHearn was fumbling now, he had noticed that in himWhenever Hearn had to search his ideas he was obviously uncomfortable, obviously trying to avoid the other conclusions
Hearn seemed absorbed for just a moment"We're moving toward greater organization, and I don't see how the left can win that battle in le dix balenciaga AmericaThere're times when I think it's Gandhi who's right
Cummings laughed out loud"You know you couldn't have picked a more unperceptive manPassive resistance, ehYou'd be good in that roleYou and Clellan and Gandhi
Hearn sat up a little straighter in his chairThe noon sun, harsh now that the overcast had blown away, glinted cruelly over the bivouac, threw into bold relief the shadows under the flaps of the tentAbout a hundred yards away, on a downhill slope through the sparse foliage, Cummings watched the chow line, two hundred and fifty men long, trudge slowly forward
"It seems to me," Hearn chanel 2.55 said, "Clellan's more in your lineAnd while we're on that you might tell him that the flowers are your idea Cummings laughed againThat had taken effect thenHe opened his eyes widely, conscious of the effect their bald white surfaces would give, and then he slapped his thigh in a facsimile of mirth"Are you getting enough liquor, Robert?" Of course, that was why he had crushed the cigarette on the floor
Hearn made no answer, but his jaws quivered just perceptibly
Cummings sat back, enjoying himself"We're wandering a little far afieldI was going to explain the war to you
"Yes, if you prada black bags woul
Hearn had once known a man who stuttered whenever...
Posted on 7/5/2010 at 2:57 PM - Link
Hearn had once known a man who stuttered whenever he was telling a lie; this on a more subtle level was as effective a clueThe General was obviously furious that he had had to come to Hearn's support in such a way that headquarters would talk about it for days
"I guess I did, sir; I realized that afterward
"Will you tell me why you behaved like such an ass, Robert?" Still the affectationIt was almost effeminateThe General had given Hearn when he first met him an immediate impression of very rarely saying what he thought, and Hearn had never had occasion to change his mindHe had known men who were casually like him, the same trace of effeminacy, the same probable capacity for extreme ruthlessness, but there was more here, more complexity, less of a congealed and overt personality to perceive comfortablyThe General at first glance did not look unlike other general officersHe was a little over medium height, well fleshed, chanel cambon bag with a rather handsome sun-tanned face and graying hair, but there were differencesHis expression when he smiled was very close to the ruddy, complacent and hard appearance of any number of American senators and businessmen, but the tough good-guy aura never quite remainedThere was a certain vacancy in his face, like the vacancy of actors who play American congressmenThere was the appearance and yet it was not thereHearn always felt as if the smiling face were numb
And his eyes gave him awayThey were large and gray, and baleful, like glass on fireOn Motome there had been an inspection before the troops boarded ship, and Hearn had walked through the ranks behind the GeneralThe men trembled before Cummings, stammered out their replies in hoarse self-conscious voicesThree-quarters of it, of course, came from talking to a general, but Cummings had been so genial, had attempted so fully to put them at their ease, and it had louis vuitton kabelky not worked at allThose great eyes with the pale-gray irises had seemed almost blank, two ovals of shocking whiteHearn remembered a newspaper article which had described the General as having the features of a genteel intelligent bulldog, and the article had added a little lushly, "in his manner are combined effectively the force, the tenacity, the staying power of that doughty animal with all the intellect and charm and poise of a college professor or a statesman It was no more accurate than a newspaper story ever was, but it underlined a favorite theory about the General which Hearn hadFor that reporter he had been The Professor, as he had been The General, The Statesman, The Philosopher, to any number of different menEach of those poses had been a baffling mixture of the genuine and the sham, as if the General instinctively assumed the one which pleased him at the moment, but beyond that was driven on, was handed a gucci boston bag personality garment by the unique urges that drove him
Hearn leaned back in his chair"All right, I suppose I was an assSo what? There's a kind of pleasure in telling somebody like Conn where to shove it
"It was a completely pointless thing to doI suppose you considered it some kind of indignity to have to listen to him
"You're being very young about itThe rights you have as a person depend completely upon my whimJust stop and think about thatWithout me you're just a second lieutenant, which I suppose is the operative definition of a man who has no soul of his ownYou weren't telling him to shove it" -- the General's distasteful pronunciation of "shove it" italicized the phrase -- "I was, in effect, telling him, and I had no wish to do so at the timeSuppose you stand up now while you're talking to meYou might as well start at first principlesI'm damned if I'm going to have people walking by and seeing you sit here as if this china mulberry division were a partnership between you and me
Hearn stood up, conscious of a sullen boyish resentment in himself"Very well," he said sarcastically
The General grinned at him suddenly with some mockery"I've heard the kind of filth Conn purveys for a good many more months than you haveIt's boring, Robert, because it's pointlessI'm a little disappointed that you reacted on such a primal level His voice flecked delicately against Hearn's mounting annoyance"I've known men who've used filth until it became a high artStatesmen, politicos, they did it for a purpose, and their flesh probably crawledYou can indulge your righteous rage but the things it comes out of are pretty cheapThe trick is to make yourself an instrument of your own policyWhether you like it or not, that's the highest effectiveness man has achievedThis was something Hearn was beginning to believeBut instead he muttered, "My range isn't as long as yours, chanel devil wears prada necklace Genera
She has to go back
downstairs now, and keep an...
Posted on 7/4/2010 at 10:53 PM - Link
She has to go back
downstairs now, and keep an eye on AdieHer man
will be calling for her soon
1034
Part of her cannot believe this is happening; part
of her feels as if her whole life has been a
preparation for it
Melda says You may hear me call yo DaddyIf I do,
you want to go pick up those things you lef' by
the poolDon't leave em out all night for the dew
t'git at
Still drawing, not looking upBut then she says
something that gladdens Melda's frightened heartThen I won't be scared if
it's dark
Melda says You take whoever you want, jus' bring
in Noveen, she still out there
It's all she has time for, all she dares when she
thinks about that special probing mojo eye, and
how it might be trying to see inside her head
Melda touches her bracelets again as she goes
downstairsShe is very glad she had them on while
she was in Libbit's room, even though the little
china woman was put away in the tin box
She is just in time to see the swirl of Adie's
dress at the end of the back hall as Adie dior saddle bags turns
into the kitchenThis is going to play out
1035
Instead of following Adie to the kitchen, Melda
runs down the front hall to the Mister's study,
where, for the first time in the seven years she's
worked for the family, she enters without knocking
The Mister is sitting behind his desk with his tie
off and his collar undone and his braces hanging
down in slack loopsHe has the folding goldframed
pictures of Tessie and Lo-Lo in his hands
He looks up at her, his eyes red in a face that is
already thinnerHe doesn't seem surprised that
his housekeeper should come bursting in
unannounced; he has the air of a man beyond
surprise, beyond shock, but of course this will
turn out not to be so
He says What is it, Melda Lou?
She says You got to come right away
He looks at her from his streaming eyes with a
calm and infuriating stupidityCome where?
She says To the beach
She points to the harpoon pistol, which hangs on
the wall, along with several short harpoonsThe
tips are steel, not silver, and new chanel bags the shafts are
heavyShe knows; hasn't she carried them in the
basket enough times?
1036
He says What are you talking about?
She says I cain't be takin time to explainYou
got to come to the beach right now, less you want
to lose another oneHe doesn't ask which daughter, or inquire
again why he should want the harpoon pistol; he
just snatches it off the wall, takes two of the
harpoons in his other hand, and strides out
through the open study door, first beside Melda
and then ahead of herBy the time he reaches the
kitchen, where Melda has last seen Adie, he's at a
full-out run and she is falling behind even though
she's running herself, holding her skirts before
her in both handsAnd is she surprised by this
sudden break in his torpor, this sudden
galvanizing action? NoBecause, despite the
blanket of his grief, the Mister has also known
that something here is wrong and going wronger all
the time
The back door stands openAn evening breeze
frisks in, stirring it back farther on balenciaga yellow bag its
hingesonly now it's actually a night breezeThere will still be light on
Shade Beach, but here at Heron's Roost, dark has
1037
already comeMelda dashes across the back porch
and sees the Mister already on the path to the
beachShe looks around for
Libbit, but of course she doesn't see her; if
Libbit is doing what she is supposed to be doing,
then she's already on her way to the swimming pool
with her heart-box under her arm
The heart-box with the monster inside it
She runs after the Mister and catches him at the
bench, where the path drops down to the beachHe
is standing there, frozenIn the west, the last
of the sunset is a sullen orange line that will
soon be gone, but there is enough light for her to
see Adie at the edge of the water, and the man who
is wading to greet her
Adriana screams Emery! She sounds mad with joy, as
if he's been gone a year instead of a day
Melda shouts No, Ade, keep away from him! from
beside the frozen, gaping man, but she knows Adie
will pay no attention, tiffany jewellery and she doesn't; Adie runs
to her husband
John Eastlake says What - and that's all
He's broken free of his torpor long enough to run
this far, but now he's frozen againIs it because
1038
he sees the two other forms, farther out but also
wading toward shore? Wading in water that should
be over their heads? Melda thinks notShe thinks
he is still staring at his oldest daughter as the
dim figure of the man coming out of the water
reaches for her with his dripping arms and lays
hold of her neck with his dripping hands, first
choking off her glad cries and then dragging her
into the surge
Out there in the Gulf, waiting, ticking back and
forth on the mild swell like a clock that tells
time in years and centuries rather than minutes
and hours, is the black hulk of Perse's ship
Melda grabs the Mister's arm, sinking her hand
deep into the bicep, and speaks to him as she has
never spoken to a white man in her life
She says Give a help, you son of a bitch! 'Fore he
drownds her!
She yanks him white ceramic chanel watch forwa
She has to go back
downstairs now, and keep an...
Posted on 7/4/2010 at 2:49 PM - Link
She has to go back
downstairs now, and keep an eye on AdieHer man
will be calling for her soon
1034
Part of her cannot believe this is happening; part
of her feels as if her whole life has been a
preparation for it
Melda says You may hear me call yo DaddyIf I do,
you want to go pick up those things you lef' by
the poolDon't leave em out all night for the dew
t'git at
Still drawing, not looking upBut then she says
something that gladdens Melda's frightened heartThen I won't be scared if
it's dark
Melda says You take whoever you want, jus' bring
in Noveen, she still out there
It's all she has time for, all she dares when she
thinks about that special probing mojo eye, and
how it might be trying to see inside her head
Melda touches her bracelets again as she goes
downstairsShe is very glad she had them on while
she was in Libbit's room, even though the little
china woman was put away in the tin box
She is just in time to see the swirl of Adie's
dress at the end of the back hall as Adie dior saddle bags turns
into the kitchenThis is going to play out
1035
Instead of following Adie to the kitchen, Melda
runs down the front hall to the Mister's study,
where, for the first time in the seven years she's
worked for the family, she enters without knocking
The Mister is sitting behind his desk with his tie
off and his collar undone and his braces hanging
down in slack loopsHe has the folding goldframed
pictures of Tessie and Lo-Lo in his hands
He looks up at her, his eyes red in a face that is
already thinnerHe doesn't seem surprised that
his housekeeper should come bursting in
unannounced; he has the air of a man beyond
surprise, beyond shock, but of course this will
turn out not to be so
He says What is it, Melda Lou?
She says You got to come right away
He looks at her from his streaming eyes with a
calm and infuriating stupidityCome where?
She says To the beach
She points to the harpoon pistol, which hangs on
the wall, along with several short harpoonsThe
tips are steel, not silver, and new chanel bags the shafts are
heavyShe knows; hasn't she carried them in the
basket enough times?
1036
He says What are you talking about?
She says I cain't be takin time to explainYou
got to come to the beach right now, less you want
to lose another oneHe doesn't ask which daughter, or inquire
again why he should want the harpoon pistol; he
just snatches it off the wall, takes two of the
harpoons in his other hand, and strides out
through the open study door, first beside Melda
and then ahead of herBy the time he reaches the
kitchen, where Melda has last seen Adie, he's at a
full-out run and she is falling behind even though
she's running herself, holding her skirts before
her in both handsAnd is she surprised by this
sudden break in his torpor, this sudden
galvanizing action? NoBecause, despite the
blanket of his grief, the Mister has also known
that something here is wrong and going wronger all
the time
The back door stands openAn evening breeze
frisks in, stirring it back farther on balenciaga yellow bag its
hingesonly now it's actually a night breezeThere will still be light on
Shade Beach, but here at Heron's Roost, dark has
1037
already comeMelda dashes across the back porch
and sees the Mister already on the path to the
beachShe looks around for
Libbit, but of course she doesn't see her; if
Libbit is doing what she is supposed to be doing,
then she's already on her way to the swimming pool
with her heart-box under her arm
The heart-box with the monster inside it
She runs after the Mister and catches him at the
bench, where the path drops down to the beachHe
is standing there, frozenIn the west, the last
of the sunset is a sullen orange line that will
soon be gone, but there is enough light for her to
see Adie at the edge of the water, and the man who
is wading to greet her
Adriana screams Emery! She sounds mad with joy, as
if he's been gone a year instead of a day
Melda shouts No, Ade, keep away from him! from
beside the frozen, gaping man, but she knows Adie
will pay no attention, tiffany jewellery and she doesn't; Adie runs
to her husband
John Eastlake says What - and that's all
He's broken free of his torpor long enough to run
this far, but now he's frozen againIs it because
1038
he sees the two other forms, farther out but also
wading toward shore? Wading in water that should
be over their heads? Melda thinks notShe thinks
he is still staring at his oldest daughter as the
dim figure of the man coming out of the water
reaches for her with his dripping arms and lays
hold of her neck with his dripping hands, first
choking off her glad cries and then dragging her
into the surge
Out there in the Gulf, waiting, ticking back and
forth on the mild swell like a clock that tells
time in years and centuries rather than minutes
and hours, is the black hulk of Perse's ship
Melda grabs the Mister's arm, sinking her hand
deep into the bicep, and speaks to him as she has
never spoken to a white man in her life
She says Give a help, you son of a bitch! 'Fore he
drownds her!
She yanks him white ceramic chanel watch forwa
ii
I'd parked my car in the courtyard,...
Posted on 7/3/2010 at 3:07 PM - Link
ii
I'd parked my car in the courtyard, beside
Elizabeth Eastlake's silver Vietnam War-era
Mercedes-BenzI slid the portrait from my much
humbler Chevrolet, set it on end, and held it up
for Wireman to look atAs he stood there silently
regarding it, a strange thought occurred to me: I
was like a tailor standing beside a mirror in a
men's clothing storeSoon my customer would
either tell me he liked the suit I'd made for him,
or shake his head regretfully and say it wouldn't
do
536
Far off to the south, in what I was coming to
think of as the Duma Jungle, that bird took up its
warning "Oh-oh!" cry again
Finally I couldn't take it anymore"Say something,
Wireman
But when he looked fairy bag prada up from the portrait, I
realized it was trueHe looked like someone had
walloped him on the head with a hammerI
understood by then that what I was doing affected
people, but none of those reactions were quite
like Wireman's on that March morning
What finally woke him up was a sharp knocking
soundShe was awake and rapping
on her tray"Smoke! Smoke!"
Some things survived even the fog of Alzheimer's,
it seemedThe part of her brain that craved
nicotine never decayedShe'd smoke until the end
Wireman took a pack of American Spirits from the
pocket of his shorts, shook one out, put it in his
mouth, and lit itThen he held it out to her"If
I let you handle this yourself, are you going paddington chloe handbag to
light yourself on fire, Miss Eastlake?"
537
"Smoke!"
"That's not very encouraging, dear
But he gave it to her, and Alzheimer's or no
Alzheimer's, she handled it like a pro, drawing in
a deep drag and jetting it out through her
nostrilsThen she settled back in her chair,
looking for the moment not like Captain Bligh on
the poop deck but FDR on the reviewing standAll
she needed was a cigarette-holder to clamp between
her teethAnd, of course, some teeth
Wireman returned his gaze to the portrait"You
don't seriously mean to just give this away, do
you? You can'tIt's incredible work
"It's yours," I said
"You have to put it in your show
"I don't know if that's such a good idea-"
"You chanel jewellery yourself said once they're done, any effect
on the subject's probably over-"
"Yeah, probably
"Probably's good enough for me, and the Scoto's
safer than this houseEdgar, this deserves to be
seenHell, it needs to be seen
"Is it you, Wireman?" I was honestly curious He stood looking at it a moment longer
Then he turned to me"It's how I wanted to be
Maybe it's how I was, on the few best days of my
best year He added, almost reluctantly: "My most
idealistic year
For a little while we said nothing, only looked at
the portrait while Elizabeth puffed like a choochoo
trainAn old choo-choo train
Then Wireman said: "There are many things I wonder
about, EdgarSince coming to Duma Key, I chanel white watch have
more questions than a four-year-old at bedtime
But one thing I don't wonder about is why you want
to stay hereIf I could do something like this,
I'd want to stay here forever
"Last year at this time I was doodling on phone
pads while I was on hold," I saidTell me something, muchachoand thinking of all the other ones
you've done since you startedwould you change
the accident that took your arm? Would you change
it, even if you could?"
I thought of painting in Little Pink while The
Bone pumped out hardcore rock and roll in thick
chunksI thought of the Great Beach WalksI even
539
thought of the older Baumgarten kid yelling Yo, Mr
Freemantle, nice chuck! when I spun the Frisbee
back louis vuitton denim to
ii
I'd parked my car in the courtyard,...
Posted on 7/3/2010 at 10:13 AM - Link
ii
I'd parked my car in the courtyard, beside
Elizabeth Eastlake's silver Vietnam War-era
Mercedes-BenzI slid the portrait from my much
humbler Chevrolet, set it on end, and held it up
for Wireman to look atAs he stood there silently
regarding it, a strange thought occurred to me: I
was like a tailor standing beside a mirror in a
men's clothing storeSoon my customer would
either tell me he liked the suit I'd made for him,
or shake his head regretfully and say it wouldn't
do
536
Far off to the south, in what I was coming to
think of as the Duma Jungle, that bird took up its
warning "Oh-oh!" cry again
Finally I couldn't take it anymore"Say something,
Wireman
But when he looked fairy bag prada up from the portrait, I
realized it was trueHe looked like someone had
walloped him on the head with a hammerI
understood by then that what I was doing affected
people, but none of those reactions were quite
like Wireman's on that March morning
What finally woke him up was a sharp knocking
soundShe was awake and rapping
on her tray"Smoke! Smoke!"
Some things survived even the fog of Alzheimer's,
it seemedThe part of her brain that craved
nicotine never decayedShe'd smoke until the end
Wireman took a pack of American Spirits from the
pocket of his shorts, shook one out, put it in his
mouth, and lit itThen he held it out to her"If
I let you handle this yourself, are you going paddington chloe handbag to
light yourself on fire, Miss Eastlake?"
537
"Smoke!"
"That's not very encouraging, dear
But he gave it to her, and Alzheimer's or no
Alzheimer's, she handled it like a pro, drawing in
a deep drag and jetting it out through her
nostrilsThen she settled back in her chair,
looking for the moment not like Captain Bligh on
the poop deck but FDR on the reviewing standAll
she needed was a cigarette-holder to clamp between
her teethAnd, of course, some teeth
Wireman returned his gaze to the portrait"You
don't seriously mean to just give this away, do
you? You can'tIt's incredible work
"It's yours," I said
"You have to put it in your show
"I don't know if that's such a good idea-"
"You chanel jewellery yourself said once they're done, any effect
on the subject's probably over-"
"Yeah, probably
"Probably's good enough for me, and the Scoto's
safer than this houseEdgar, this deserves to be
seenHell, it needs to be seen
"Is it you, Wireman?" I was honestly curious He stood looking at it a moment longer
Then he turned to me"It's how I wanted to be
Maybe it's how I was, on the few best days of my
best year He added, almost reluctantly: "My most
idealistic year
For a little while we said nothing, only looked at
the portrait while Elizabeth puffed like a choochoo
trainAn old choo-choo train
Then Wireman said: "There are many things I wonder
about, EdgarSince coming to Duma Key, I chanel white watch have
more questions than a four-year-old at bedtime
But one thing I don't wonder about is why you want
to stay hereIf I could do something like this,
I'd want to stay here forever
"Last year at this time I was doodling on phone
pads while I was on hold," I saidTell me something, muchachoand thinking of all the other ones
you've done since you startedwould you change
the accident that took your arm? Would you change
it, even if you could?"
I thought of painting in Little Pink while The
Bone pumped out hardcore rock and roll in thick
chunksI thought of the Great Beach WalksI even
539
thought of the older Baumgarten kid yelling Yo, Mr
Freemantle, nice chuck! when I spun the Frisbee
back louis vuitton denim to
I wondered when she'd gotten it, and why
Pam...
Posted on 7/2/2010 at 3:31 PM - Link
I wondered when she'd gotten it, and why
Pam wearing ink seemed as unlikely to me as Pam
racing a dirt-bike at Mission Hill, but I had no
doubt whatever that it was true; it was just a
fact, like Carson Jones's Torii Hunter tee-shirt
There were also two men in the picture, both naked
One stood at the window, half-turnedHe had a
perfectly typical body for a white middle-class
man of fifty or so, one I imagined you could see
in any Gold's Gym changing room: poochy stomach,
flat little no-cheeks ass, moderate man-titsHis
face was intelligent and well-bredOn that face
now was a melancholy she's-almost-gone lookA
nothing-will-change-it lookThis was Max from
207
Palm DesertHe might as well have been wearing a
sign around his neckMax who had lost his father
last year, Max who had gucci bookbag started by offering Pam
coffee and had ended up offering her moreShe'd
taken him up on the coffee and the more, but not
all the more he would have givenYou couldn't see all of it, but what you
could see was a lot more naked than his ass
The other man leaned in the doorway with his
ankles crossed, a position that pressed his thighs
together and pushed his considerable package
forwardHe was maybe ten years older than the man
at the window, in better shapeLong muscles in the thighsHis arms
were folded below his chest and he was looking at
Pam with a little smile on his faceI knew that
smile well, because Tom Riley had been my
accountant - and my friend - for thirty-five years
If it had not been custom in our family to ask
your father to be your best man, I would have
asked Tom
I vintage chanel jewelry looked at him standing naked in the doorway,
looking at my wife on the bed, and remembered him
helping me move my stuff out to Lake Phalen
208
Remembered him saying You don't give up the house,
that's like giving up home field advantage in a
playoff game
Then catching him with tears in his eyesBoss, I
can't get used to seeing you this way
Had he been fucking her then? I thought notBut -
I'm going to give you an offer to take back to her,
I'd saidOnly maybe he'd done more
than make my offer
I limped to the big window, not using my crutch
Sunset was still hours off, but the light was
westering strongly, beating a reflection off the
waterI made myself look directly into that
glaring track, wiping my eyes repeatedly
I tried to tell myself the picture might be no
more than a sac chloe figment of a mind that was still
trying to heal itselfAll my
voices were speaking clearly and coherently to one
another, and I knew what I knewPam had fucked
Max out there in Palm Desert, and when he had
suggested a longer, deeper commitment, she had
refusedPam had also fucked my oldest friend and
business associate, and might still be fucking him
209
The only unanswered question was which guy had
talked her into the rose on her tit
"I need to let this go," I said, and leaned my
throbbing forehead against the glassBeyond me,
the sun burned on the Gulf of Mexico"I really
need to let this go
Then snap your fingers, I thought
I snapped the fingers of my right hand and heard
the sound - a brisk little click"All right,
over-done with-gone!" I said brightlyBut then I
closed my eyes and gucci new bag saw Pam sitting on the bed -
some bed - in her panties, with a bra-strap lying
across her leg like a dead snake
Friends with benefits
Fucking friends, with fucking benefits
vii
That evening I didn't watch the sunset from Little
PinkI left my crutch leaning against the corner
of the house, limped down the beach, and walked
into the water until I was up to my kneesThe
water was cold, the way it gets a couple of months
after hurricane season has blown itself out, but I
210
hardly noticedNow the track beating across the
water was bitter orange, and that was what I was
looking at
"Experiment, my ass," I said, and the water surged
around meI rocked unsteadily on my feet, holding
my arm out for balance
Overhead a heron glided across the darkening sky,
a silent long-neck chanel classic bags projectile
I wondered when she'd gotten it, and why
Pam...
Posted on 7/2/2010 at 10:15 AM - Link
I wondered when she'd gotten it, and why
Pam wearing ink seemed as unlikely to me as Pam
racing a dirt-bike at Mission Hill, but I had no
doubt whatever that it was true; it was just a
fact, like Carson Jones's Torii Hunter tee-shirt
There were also two men in the picture, both naked
One stood at the window, half-turnedHe had a
perfectly typical body for a white middle-class
man of fifty or so, one I imagined you could see
in any Gold's Gym changing room: poochy stomach,
flat little no-cheeks ass, moderate man-titsHis
face was intelligent and well-bredOn that face
now was a melancholy she's-almost-gone lookA
nothing-will-change-it lookThis was Max from
207
Palm DesertHe might as well have been wearing a
sign around his neckMax who had lost his father
last year, Max who had gucci bookbag started by offering Pam
coffee and had ended up offering her moreShe'd
taken him up on the coffee and the more, but not
all the more he would have givenYou couldn't see all of it, but what you
could see was a lot more naked than his ass
The other man leaned in the doorway with his
ankles crossed, a position that pressed his thighs
together and pushed his considerable package
forwardHe was maybe ten years older than the man
at the window, in better shapeLong muscles in the thighsHis arms
were folded below his chest and he was looking at
Pam with a little smile on his faceI knew that
smile well, because Tom Riley had been my
accountant - and my friend - for thirty-five years
If it had not been custom in our family to ask
your father to be your best man, I would have
asked Tom
I vintage chanel jewelry looked at him standing naked in the doorway,
looking at my wife on the bed, and remembered him
helping me move my stuff out to Lake Phalen
208
Remembered him saying You don't give up the house,
that's like giving up home field advantage in a
playoff game
Then catching him with tears in his eyesBoss, I
can't get used to seeing you this way
Had he been fucking her then? I thought notBut -
I'm going to give you an offer to take back to her,
I'd saidOnly maybe he'd done more
than make my offer
I limped to the big window, not using my crutch
Sunset was still hours off, but the light was
westering strongly, beating a reflection off the
waterI made myself look directly into that
glaring track, wiping my eyes repeatedly
I tried to tell myself the picture might be no
more than a sac chloe figment of a mind that was still
trying to heal itselfAll my
voices were speaking clearly and coherently to one
another, and I knew what I knewPam had fucked
Max out there in Palm Desert, and when he had
suggested a longer, deeper commitment, she had
refusedPam had also fucked my oldest friend and
business associate, and might still be fucking him
209
The only unanswered question was which guy had
talked her into the rose on her tit
"I need to let this go," I said, and leaned my
throbbing forehead against the glassBeyond me,
the sun burned on the Gulf of Mexico"I really
need to let this go
Then snap your fingers, I thought
I snapped the fingers of my right hand and heard
the sound - a brisk little click"All right,
over-done with-gone!" I said brightlyBut then I
closed my eyes and gucci new bag saw Pam sitting on the bed -
some bed - in her panties, with a bra-strap lying
across her leg like a dead snake
Friends with benefits
Fucking friends, with fucking benefits
vii
That evening I didn't watch the sunset from Little
PinkI left my crutch leaning against the corner
of the house, limped down the beach, and walked
into the water until I was up to my kneesThe
water was cold, the way it gets a couple of months
after hurricane season has blown itself out, but I
210
hardly noticedNow the track beating across the
water was bitter orange, and that was what I was
looking at
"Experiment, my ass," I said, and the water surged
around meI rocked unsteadily on my feet, holding
my arm out for balance
Overhead a heron glided across the darkening sky,
a silent long-neck chanel classic bags projectile
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